5 years of being a hijabi

This summer marks the 5th anniversary of me wearing the hijaab, alhamdouliLlah.

5 years ago, at the beginning of the summer in 2010, a few days after graduation and a few weeks before my marriage, I decided to wear the hijaab and I have, alhamdouliLlah, never taken it off since.

Even more so then deciding to become a muslim, wearing the hijaab had far reaching consequences: I lost friends, family members wouldn`t speak to me anymore and I saw my chances of working as a teacher in Belgium diminishing drastically.

But looking back, wearing the hijaab didn`t make me *lose* anything. By losing friends, Allah directed me to better people who turned out to be better companions. By not being welcomed anymore into some of my family members` homes, Allah protected me from a lot of fitnah and again, replaced the family that I lost, for a family of sisters. By choosing Allah over my passion for teaching, he eventually blessed me with an exceptional teaching position where I was able to work with hijaab: I look back on my years at the school as some of the best of my life, alhamdouliLlah.

Living in a muslim country now, where I am valued and respected because of my hijaab, I will never forget how hard I fought for my religion and my hijaab. And I experienced first hand how Allah will help you in ways you don`t think are possible. When you take one step towards Allah, He will come running to you...

Wearing the hijaab is a personal jihad. Especially in these times. And over those 5 years and especially in the last one, I saw several sisters take off their hijaab. I understand. Wearing the hijaab is hard. Very hard. But I want you to remember: your struggle isn`t in vain. You are not struggling alone. Thousands of sisters are struggling with you. Don`t give up. Allah is with you. And those friends you are afraid of losing? Allah will replace them with better ones. 

Those family members who don`t want to see you anymore? Allah will make them come around or replace them by a different kind of family. 

That job you will lose? Allah will guide you to a better opportunity.

Be proud of your hijaab, ladies, keep struggling for the sake of Allah!

The Story of the Butterfly

By Sue Blackwell

A small story that tells a great tale...

“A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared; he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther.

Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the Cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What this man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting Cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were nature’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.”

In life we all go through hardships, but we don't always see the bigger picture when we're in the midst of one. We find ourselves stuck in our situation, stuck in our cocoon and we try desperately to get ourselves out, but for some reason we stay right where we are and we ask ourselves the questions: "Why is this happening to me?" and "When will this struggle be over?" 

But just like the man who wanted to help the butterfly, we need to understand that we need time to grow, time to develop. And in order to do that, God gives us trials and hardships. He gives us those trials to teach us something. We need those trials in order to attain new qualities. Abilities to be able to cope with what else life will bring us. 

When we are feeling stuck in our cocoon it's important for us to realize that we're going through this process and that we need to remain patient. That we need to keep struggling, suffering and striving to develop, to grow. 

When we are feeling stuck in our cocoon we should realize we are not being broken, we are being remade. 

When we are feeling stuck in our cocoon, we shouldn't despair, we shouldn't lose hope. We shouldn't want to rush things and cut ourselves out of it when we are not ready to move on. We should instead remain hopeful that are wings are growing and that it's just a matter of time before we'll be able to fly. And fly we will, fly we will... 

Ever toiling...

Sometimes our hearts feel heavy.

We carry a burden of sorrow and distress in our hearts.

A heavy weight tries to crush our lungs and we find it hard to breathe.

Worries seem to cloud our vision as tears well up in our eyes.

Sometimes our hearts feel so heavy, the weight breaks us and we fall down on our path through life.

When we find the courage to stand up, we stumble and fall again. And again.

We seem to trip over every rock or bump in the road.

At those times it’s hard to feel close to Allah and to connect with Him in our prayers.

We feel like we’re the only ones who have ever experienced such a trial and don’t know how to keep carrying this massive weight on our shoulders.

At such times we seem to forget that Allah is in fact the Only One who can lift that burden from our hearts and remove the load we carry.

One day I felt like the load I was carrying for some time became unbearable.

My heart felt heavy and my soul tormented by the worries I felt.

I couldn’t seem to find anything that could relieve my heart from this crushing weight.

Until…

I remembered a verse in the Qur’an.

A verse I read in a book some months before.

A verse that had inspired me, but that I did not fully understand until this moment.

I didn’t remember the chapter or number of the verse in the Qur’an, so I looked for the book in which I was sure it was mentioned.

But was it mentioned in the beginning, the middle or the end? I had no clue.

Hoping to find the soothing words of Allah, most Exalted is He, I opend the book at random.

Soubhan’Allah.

I opened the book and found the title of that chapter in which I knew I would find that specific verse I was looking for.

I turned one page and there it was. The comforting words of my Lord.

“Oh mankind! Verily you are ever toiling on towards your Lord – painfully toiling – but you shall meet Him.” (Qur’an 84:6)

Tears sprung into my eyes as I felt the heavy load being lifted from my chest.

As the understanding of this beautiful verse dawned on me,  Allah replaced my sorrow with strength to help me carry the burden, I thought I had to carry alone.

He loosened the chain around my tormented soul.

All praise is due to Allah.

As humans we are always stumbling on our path through life.

We break, we stumble, we fall.

We are ever toiling.

Our path through life isn’t made easy.

There are rocks and bumps in the road.

Our path is sometimes covered in darkness.

But…

We are not wandering this path alone. Allah is Al-Wali. Our Companion.

We are not completely covered in darkness. Allah is An-Noer. Our Light, that guides the way.

Allah recognises our pain, our suffering, our stumbling and our falling, ‘cause he tells us in the Qur’an that we are ‘ever toiling’. Painfully toiling.

And to ease our pain, our suffering, to soften the stumbling and falling, he reminds us of our destination: Allah, himself.

In these words lies the most comforting thought: we might suffer, we might stumble and we might fall on our path through life. But Ar-Rafi, the One who raises us, will lift us up. But if we persevere, we shall meet Him.

And in the meeting with Our Lord is truly found comfort.