Seasons of Life

Spring is in the air. At least in Europe it is. Right before I left Belgium daffodils in gardens and on street corners were starting to pop up and the freezing wind made way for a much softer breeze. Although in Qatar there is not much spring to be felt -we are just transitioning from *normal* summer to *hot summer*-, I am reminded of spring when I look at my son. Everything about him is *new* and *fresh*, like a little daffodil slowly emerging from the dirt. Innocently discovering this world that is still so new and fascinating to him.

For some time after he was born though I felt like I, on the other hand, was emerged in winter. I felt like everything about my life was frozen. Everything had slowed and stopped in time. *Is this my life from now on?* I would ask my scared reflection in the mirror. Days would consist of being stuck on the couch for hours on end with a nursing baby, diaper changes and failed attempts at trying to take a shower. Nights existed of more nursing, not enough sleep and wet PJ`s. Days and nights were so similar I would lose track of what actual day it was. It all became a blur. And I feared it would never end. It really felt like it would never end. 

But somehow it did. The snow melted. Gradually my life got defrosted and things starting moving again. There would be less nursing, more sleep, less diaper changes, although still the occasional wet PJ. Gradually there would be time again to do the stuff I did before my son was born: read a book, crochet.

The sun would no longer keep hiding behind the clouds and little daffodils started to emerge. But spring is unpredictable. Especially in Europe. There can still be hail, rain, even freezing temperatures are not uncommon. Some aspects of my life still remain *frozen*. 

Being a new (stay at home) mom in a foreign country means there is very little social contact. Especially after 2 of my dear friends left the country, there is hardly any adult interaction to be had. It is lonely.

And so I should *do* something, right? That`s what people during my visit a few weeks ago kept asking: *What are you going to do now?*, *Are you going to work now?*, *Are you having a second baby soon?* I understand where those questions are coming from. In the first months of being a mom I sometimes desperately wanted to climb into a time machine and get teleported to 2020. Or any later date. When my son will be going to school, won`t nurse anymore, sleep through the night, be able to communicate and tell me what is bothering him. When I would do all the things I can`t do now: get back to work, maybe study, continue traveling, have a social life again. I would desperately wait for summer to begin.

But a few weeks ago when I was watching those daffodils and I looked at my son and how he mastered a new skill, I realized this season will pass sooner than I actually wish it would. I realized just how fleeting this time of our lives is if we look at the big picture. This season will pass. All of this will pass. Nothing lasts forever, only Allah.

But just like that daffodil needs water, sunlight and even more so time, to grow, spring will grow into summer in its due time. 

I never really had a favorite season: winter, spring, summer, autumn. I loved aspects of every season: the blossoming trees in spring, the summer sun, the beautiful foliage in fall and the crisping snow beneath my shoes in winter. So I decided to love every season in this life too. This season is not an easy one, but I decided to marvel in its beauty instead. Being able to be so close to my son in this season of his life is truly a gift. I cherish every moment as I know now this season will end one day. I know now that summer will be here all too soon...

Eid ul Adha 2014: Little flags

I have a new hobby! Or it would be better to say: a new addiction! Crochet! :-)

Two years ago I bought my first crochet-hook, but it took me a while before I really got the hang of it. With our blueberry arriving soon, I decided it was time to finally sit down and learn it properly. And so I did. :-) I`m still very much a beginner, but I started working on several little projects and I must say: they turned out great! :-) So this year my Eid-decorations aren`t made from paper, but... From yarn! :-)

This project is really easy as it only consists of chains and single crochets. :-) Ideal for every beginner! :-)

What you need: 

* Yarn in whatever color you like. 

* A crochet-hook that is compatible with the type of yarn you want to use. (I used a 4.25 mm) 

* Scissors

Instructions: 

The flags: 

* You actually crochet little triangles and it`s up to you to decide on how big you want to make them. I used a very helpful video that explains step by step on how to crochet a triangle. It`s in Dutch however, but you can still use it as the instructions are shown clearly. :-) I didn`t find any proper videos in English yet, but I am sure Pinterest and YouTube will have something to offer. :-) This video doesn`t explain on how you can crochet the edge to give your flags the finishing touch, but here`s how I did it: when I reached the appropriate size I wanted my triangle to be, I attached a new color and crocheted all the way around the triangle by crocheting a single crochet into every little hole. In the bottom tip of the triangle I crocheted 3 single crochets in the 1 hole, while in the 2 top tips I made 2 as you need some more stitches to make it nicely around the corners. Once you`ve crocheted all around, you secure your thread and cut the remaining parts of it. 

The chain: 

* You chain 25. Attach your first little flag to the chain by making 1 single crochet into every stitch on the top row of your triangle. Chain another 10 and attach the next little flag in the same way. Continue until you`ve finished adding all your flags and chain another 25. Chain one, turn and make 1 single crochet in every stitch until you`ve reached the beginning of your garland again. Secure the thread and cut the remaining. 

For sure these little flags will brighten up every room. :-)

Eid ul Adha 2014: Eid Candles

Materials needed: 

* 3 glass jars (Recycled from mayonaise, tomato sauce, ... containers.) 

* Glue 

* Brush 

* Black tissue paper 
* Scissors 
* Golden glitter 
* Golden stickers with the letters of the alphabet 
* 3 small candles 
* Matches  

Instructions:  
* Cut the black tissue paper into small squares of approximately the same size. (2 cm2) 

* Use the brush to cover the outside of the glass jar completely in glue and stick the little pieces of tissue paper one by one to the jar. Cover the whole outside of the jar in tissue paper except for the top (On which you screw the lid).  

* Make sure the top of the jar is also covered in glue as you sprinkle the golden glitter over the remaining surface.  

* Leave the jar to dry. * Stick the letters E-I-D on the jars: on each jar one letter. * Light the candles and place one small candle in each jar. (Be careful!)  

This little craft really brightens up any table for Eid. :-) Super cozy!

  

*Bismillah* garland

Now Ramadan is over, the Eid-holidays have passed and I feel sad not only to have this blessed time having passed by so quickly, but also because I have to take down my decorations... 

As I love decorating my house and giving it that *cozy* touch, I figured I just had to make some new decorations that aren't specifically related to Ramadan, but that do have an islamic purpose to them, to brighten up my big white walls. :-) 

So here's a little something to *islamify* your kitchen or dining area: a *bismillah* garland. 

Material:

* *Bismillah* garland template

* Printer

* Colored paper 

* Scissors 

* Thread  or ribbon

* Utility knife

* Washi tape

Instructions: 

* I designed the banner myself and you can download it here, in shaa Allah. 

* Print the template (on any type of paper you like) and cut out all the stars with the scissors. 

* On opposite sides of each star: cut 2 little (Vertical if you want the garland to be hanged horizontally, horizontal if you want the garland to be hanged vertically like in my example) lines into the star with the utility knife.

* Hang the stars on a long piece of thread or ribbon by *weaving* the thread through the cut lines on each star. 

* Attach the garland to the wall by using some colorful washi tape. 

Making this craft child friendly: 

You can make this garland together with your kids in teaching them about the islamic rulings concerning eating and dining. When you're teaching them to drink/eat with their right hand and to always say *bismillah* (In the name of Allah) before they start eating, this craft is a great way to visualize what they learned. Print the template on white paper and let your kids color away and *design* their own garland. :-) Let them choose where to hang the garland and let the older ones attach it to the wall.

In shaa Allah, it will serve as a reminder to the whole family during every meal and will brighten up your meal times! :-)

Ramadan Reflections: Social media fasting

With Ramadan fast approaching I'm preparing for what has become an annual tradition of mine during Ramadan: social media fasting. :-) 

Although social media has been a life saver for me while living abroad, I love the way it keeps me up to date on what happens *back home* and it makes me feel like my family and beloved sisters and friends are right next door instead of thousands of miles away, it's a fact that social media does suck up (too) much of my time. 

I guess it's become kind of an addiction for most of us, as I know few people who can still live without a smartphone and don't even go to the bathroom without it. The majority of us is connected 24/7 and posting pictures of your supper every night hasn't become *obsessed*, it's being liked and shared all over the globe. Our lives today are partly being lived online. Although I accept this as being a reality today as also my life is partly being lived on the social media platforms, I do think it sometimes goes too far. Sometimes we just forget to live in the real world, as the online world appeals to us as more exciting (While it actually isn't...): instead of enjoying a coffee break with a friend and really listening to what she has to say, we're texting through WhatsApp to a friend on another continent and we'll be posting a picture of our latte on Instagram. It seems like social media hasn't only made us more lonely and less social, but it's also become a major distraction. 

Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Viber, ... They're *weapons of mass distraction*. We can hardly just *be in the moment* as we're always texting, messaging or uploading pics at the same time. We can't really focus or concentrate on one thing anymore as our smartphone is constantly buzzing and distracting us from just *being*. Especially during Ramadan this is something I want to avoid. In Ramadan I just want to *be* in the moment. I want to enjoy and really be able to focus when I'm reading Qur'an or praying taraweeh at the mosque without my phone buzzing every 5 minutes. I want to be able to enjoy my suhur in silence instead of feeling the need to post what I just ate on Instagram as that seems to be the new trend nowadays. I want to be able to reconnect with my Lord much more, but in order to do that I need to keep anything that distracts me at bay. And for me social media is a big distraction.

As Ramadan is exactly about that: leaving things that are actually halaal but for the sake of Allah we leave them during Ramadan in order to get closer to Him. It wouldn't make sense to me to refrain from eating, drinking, intimacy, while I keep on *indulging* in other worldly pleasures. That's why during Ramadan the TV is shut off and during fasting hours I go *offline*. Last year I really reaped the fruits of my social media fasting as it was surprising how much more time I had left to perform deeds of worship and how much more focused I was. And so I decided to continue that *tradition* this year as well. :-)

I can only recommend it to you as well: you will have more time which will make you perform more good deeds, you will be more focused and you'll have a deeper sense of calm during the whole month as your connection with Allah doesn't get disturbed as much.

Here are some of my tips to get going: 

* The first days of fasting in general always feel a bit like detox: your body needs to get used to the rhythm of fasting and you might experience lightheadedness, fatigue, headache, ... The same goes for social media fasting: the first few days you'll have to suppress the urge to grab your phone and check your Viber, WhatsApp, Facebook, ... But after some days you'll get used to this new rythm and believe me: you won't even miss it at the end of the month. :-)

* Stick to the fasting hours: this means I don't use social media from Fajr til Maghreb. Afterwards I do check Facebook, Viber, WhatsApp, ... But as it's time for iftar, and afterwards the taraweeh prayers, there's not a whole lot of time to get lazy and spend too much time on it. 

* Restrict your use of social media to checking your accounts only once a day and set a specific time to do so. (F.ex.: After iftar and before taraweeh prayers.)

* Completely switch off your phone when you're going for taraweeh-prayers or even leave it at home all together, so you don't feel the urge to check it or get distracted by any notifications. 

* When you're at home: store away your phone/laptop and hide them somewhere out of your view. Out of sight in this case does mean out of mind. ;-) 

* Make a little announcement before Ramadan starts that you'll be off social media most of the time during Ramadan and ask people if they need to contact you, they do so through e-mail or by calling or texting directly to your phone (or that you'll be able to reply to them after iftar).

In shaa Allah, I hope this can motivate and inspire others to be a little more disconnected in Ramadan so it may help others as well to focus more on our connection with Allah. :-)

They remain (Poem)

When you travel as much as I do and everything in your life: people, places, climate, etc. changes all the time, after a while you yearn desperately for some stability. You start looking for those little things that give you some sense of security. These things, in the middle of the chaos and the constant changes, still remain. Some of those things for me are the singing of the birds, the smell of grass and... The stars. Wherever I go: the birds still sing the same songs, the grass still smells the same way and when I look up to the sky on a starry night I see the same constellations as I used to back home. Those little things give me comfort when I tend to get overwhelmed by the speed of which everything around me keeps changing. 

They remain...

No matter where you are,

On a mountain top or amidst the desert sand,

You will see the stars,

When you’re traveling across the land.

Wherever you go those stars are the same,

High up in the sky like a flickering flame,

Such hope they contain,

            ‘Cause they do remain.            

No matter how lonely you might think you are,

Look up to the sky,

And when you see the stars,

Remember they don’t say goodbye.

Whatever you feel, those stars are the same,

High up in the sky like a flickering flame,

Such hope they contain,

‘Cause they do remain.

They do remain…

The Story of the Butterfly

By Sue Blackwell

A small story that tells a great tale...

“A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared; he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther.

Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the Cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What this man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting Cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were nature’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.”

In life we all go through hardships, but we don't always see the bigger picture when we're in the midst of one. We find ourselves stuck in our situation, stuck in our cocoon and we try desperately to get ourselves out, but for some reason we stay right where we are and we ask ourselves the questions: "Why is this happening to me?" and "When will this struggle be over?" 

But just like the man who wanted to help the butterfly, we need to understand that we need time to grow, time to develop. And in order to do that, God gives us trials and hardships. He gives us those trials to teach us something. We need those trials in order to attain new qualities. Abilities to be able to cope with what else life will bring us. 

When we are feeling stuck in our cocoon it's important for us to realize that we're going through this process and that we need to remain patient. That we need to keep struggling, suffering and striving to develop, to grow. 

When we are feeling stuck in our cocoon we should realize we are not being broken, we are being remade. 

When we are feeling stuck in our cocoon, we shouldn't despair, we shouldn't lose hope. We shouldn't want to rush things and cut ourselves out of it when we are not ready to move on. We should instead remain hopeful that are wings are growing and that it's just a matter of time before we'll be able to fly. And fly we will, fly we will...